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[rocketman]

✆ Crystal | Messenger Bird | In Person

Comments

[broceanic]

I've never met anyone called Ash, other than the guy I just mentioned.

[he frowns.]

What's your Bouffalant with him?

[rocketman]

[James visibly wilts and lifts his head weakly.]

Oh, he beats me up on a near weekly basis...

[His voice drips with shame.

Beaten up routinely by a ten year old, what is his life?]

[broceanic]

[just... this look.

explain?]

[rocketman]

I come up with some kind of cunning caper and he shows up with his brat brigade to knock me into the stratosphere.

[He sneers.]

Ever belly flop into an ocean from ten thousand feet up?

It hurts.

[broceanic]

No. I thought you'd die from that?

[he's not drunk enough for this.]

Why's he get in the way so much, then?

[rocketman]

Hero complex, maybe?

Who knows?

Maybe he's intimidated by my sense of style.

[Or maybe it's the fact that James is always trying to rob him?

...

Nah.]

[broceanic]

What... are you doing that makes him feel the need to interfere?

[did you... let something slip there...]

[rocketman]

[James goes a shade paler.]

Just my job!

Not my fault he doesn't like it!

He should try flipping the script, I do it all the time!

[broceanic]

[that seems to placate him.]

You ain't ever just beat him in a battle or somethin'?

[all these questions!]

[rocketman]

[Sore point.

James clutches his hands into fists.]

My bag is full of tricks but the Twerp has one very good one.

It's super effective against living things.

[The scowl is quickly replaced by a sigh.]

Somehow even if I win I end up losing.

[broceanic]

He seemed nice when I met him earlier...

[archie shrugs.]

What is it? Last question, promise. [said with a light laugh.]

[rocketman]

His trick is a painful and preternaturally powerful Pikachu.

[James makes a vague gesture in the air.]

You can feel its jolts down to your tailbone!

Usually it rides on his shoulder, did you see it?

[broceanic]

Ah... electric types...

[he understands that pain.]

Catch a ground type! I recommend a Quagsire, because people think they're only water and forget about the ground typing. Those are always fun to bust out against someone with an electric type that thinks they're some kinda hot Shuppet.

[rocketman]

[This is the face of a man realizing he's never actually used a ground type against Pikachu]

[broceanic]

Rock type'd do it, too...

[rocketman]

[He considers this a moment then sighs again and traces figures along the tabletop with his fingertip, chin in hand.]

No, it's no use.

I've seen it melt ground types before...somehow.

It's even battled a Latios to a stand still before.

A Latios.

[broceanic]

[once again, he finds himself dumbfounded.]

A single Pikachu? No, that can't be right. He has to be cheating, somehow.

[it even took may everything she had with her team to calm kyogre.]

[rocketman]

I thought the same thing but I've seen it with my own peepers!

This Pikachu is just that powerful! There isn't another one in the world like it!

[He blows out a breath.]

I've only ever beaten the beastie once in a straightforward battle.

[Well, him and Jessie did, but he rolls the two of them into one person in his mind when it comes to battling.]

Could you order me a dry martini?

1/3

[broceanic]

[broceanic]

[broceanic]

I'm gettin' you three of 'em.

[HIS TEAM LEADER HEART IS BREAKING...]

[rocketman]

[James opens his mouth to gleefully accept this offer but what comes out is...]

I say, old chum, are you all right?

[broceanic]

[he shakes his head with a snort.]

I'm fine, James. I'll be back in a moment.

[and he will be-- holding the three martinis, then disappears again and comes back with a god damn stein for himself.]

[rocketman]

[He lifts a martini glass in a toasting gesture.]

Here's to...

Uh.

[Long pause.]

I've got nothing, help!

[broceanic]

To...

[it takes him a moment, too, thinking it over.]

To... not... to not... bein' on fire?

[archie shrugs helplessly, then takes a long pull of his drink.]